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Just your average 20 something young mum, muslimah love my family.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Now that I am married, do i still feel the same about Polygany?

A dear reader of mine has asked me if i still felt that same about polygany now that I am married. For those of you who dont know how i felt about polygany before, well i will try to put it simply. I was always supportive of those who live polyganous lifestyles and was pretty much in agreement to everything with regards to polygany. So are my views STILL the same?

yeah, pretty much.. Nothing has changed except..

I do feel jealous or angry at the thought of it happening to me - BUT. that is ME. that is my own feeling that i will need to overcome if one day I was in the position.. well I would like to try.

I was also asked if I felt that there  had to be a reason for a man to take a second, wife.. Well look, I think there should be a reason.. we are human, we shouldnt do things without reasoning otherwise we could do alot of damage to ourselves and those around us. So yes in that sense I belive that if you are going to take a second wife, its better have some kind of reasoning - to maintain a stable and healthy relationship with  the wives, and well its just more dignified.. but if a man wishes to do so, without any apparrent reasons, then you know, thats kinda unfortunate but you know what, dont let that cloud your judgement of polygany..  we have to acknowledge that it is halal..Allah swt has made a perfect system for human beings, this i trust.

Its a really big and complex issue..cant cover it all in one post. -  but me personally, I don't mind polygany.
BUT before anyone takes my post in the wrong way, Id just like to say that, Islam promotes Monogamy more than anything. It encourages people to have ONE partner in marriage for the rest of your life if you can and to never EVER cheat on your partner no matter what. you cant get any more monogoumous than that.

We should all try to accept each other's way of life and support marriage whether its a monogoumous or polyganous.. They all serve the same purpose of pleasing God.

 whatever happens, try to take it easy, because everything is Qadr (written by Allah swt).


Um Zakarya said...

Assalamu Aleykum dear sister,

MashALLAH I couldn't agree more, this is not up to us to condemn something which ALLAH SWT has made halal.HIS infinite wisdom is way higher than our little understanding of things.

Lot of love from France

Tasneem said...

MaĊĦaAllah! Beautiful post :)

jana z. said...

each one of us know our limits, what we can and cannot handle. so to say that one doesnt feel that they could sanely handle being a co wife is not condemning something halal. there are men who feel the same way. they dont want more than one wife. its a preference, not a condemnation

Sarah Muhammad said...

@ jana zain
ofcourse you are right. I dont expect any woman to stay in a marriage where shes unhappy. Not at all.. I should have stated that. I dont belive that because you cant handle polygany that you are condemning it.. Its a personal choice and nobody can blame a person if they cannot handle something. I was speaking about polygany from my perspective and because I am not involved in Polygany i speak of it from a general point of view.

when I say i support polygany, I support it when no one is suffering - and that goes for the first wife, second wife, third etc.
:) thanks for commenting sis.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely hate this topic. I trust my husband, but I do not trust women! I get insanely annoyed by women being overly friendly with my husband. I cannot imagine what would happen to me if my husband had a second wife. Only Allah (swt) knows what I can truly handle. But you are right. It is in our deen and we cannot condemn what is there. I believe in it and I know there is wisdom in it because it comes from Allah (swt).